Conditional Acceptance: Even if you in a Benz, you still a n**** in a coupe

conditional [kuh n-dish-uh-nl]
1. imposing, containing, subject to, or depending on a condition or conditions; not absolute; made or allowed on certain terms: conditional acceptance.
I am done with acceptance coming with conditions, especially in relation to race. People will only support you, will only accept you, to a level they are comfortable with & we have accepted this as success. I am tired of fighting, of hoping for a better future; not just for me but for everyone who is still waiting for their right to live in peace. If you have the whole damn pie, don't expect us to settle for your crumbs.

Assimilation is not acceptance. You can speak the language, wear the clothes, do the job, get the education, pay the taxes, win the medals... it will never be enough. If you think, 'this would never happen to me.', you'd be wrong. One moment can change everything & if it hasn't happened yet, it will. It could be a look, a comment, a headline. It may even be the uncomfortable stare of strangers as you realise you're the only black person around. Visibility does not equal safety & who do you call when the police are the ones committing the crime? In the last episode of Dear White People, they perfectly encapsulate the reality that no matter how hard you try, no matter how rich, how popular, how influential you are, the response to your actions relies solely on one thing.

I was going to list every single one of Stevie Wonders incredible achievements but I shouldn't have to. In short, you would hope his successful & philanthropic career would be enough to garner even a hint of respect but it still isn't enough. 'Ungrateful'? I'm lost as to what exactly he is supposed to be grateful for. When a buffoon like Trump, born wealthy, presides in one of the most influential positions in the world, with zero experience, I am lost as to what we are supposed to be grateful for. This conditional acceptance is the reason your achievements will never be enough.

Conditional acceptance means you can be gay but not too gay, fat but not too fat, feminine but not too feminine, black but not too black. There is a scale at which your humanity ends & you are no longer allowed a voice. In some ways, conditional acceptance feels more insidious than outright hatred because those you consider friends, allies, may only support you so far. If you're tired of hearing it, we're tired of fighting it. People aren't protesting, marching, petitioning, existing, risking their lives, just because it looks like fun. People are allowed to exist, to live, to love, to act, outside your realm of acceptable. I should not have to lower my voice, be a little nicer, smile a little brighter, for you to accept my existence. Angry Black Woman? You're damn right.

We need to shout a little louder, yell a little clearer & demand a whole lot extra. No justice, no peace.

Black lives will always matter.

1 comment

  1. I honestly dont understand that in 2017 we are still having the same hatred as we have for so many years, why cant people just see people, no matter what colour, gender, age, sexual orintation or what ever people wanna see. We all have a heart we all bleed red blood, why cant we just see each other as people. No one is better then anyone else. We are all put in this earth to live, have fun and love and i just wish we could do that without stupid ignorant people opening their mouths and spreading hatred. Xxxx