5 Beauty Mistakes I Made (So You Don’t Have To)

Worth a staggering £17 billion, the UK beauty industry is growing rapidly in our appearance obsessed culture, with skincare sales increasing exponentially as new innovations continue to hit the mass market. We’ve never had so much choice, and those of us obsessed with achieving and sustaining a natural glow are taking full advantage.

Although I’m still working on perfecting my skincare care routine, unfortunately it hasn’t always been retinol and vitamin infused sheet masks. Let me share some of the less fortuitous (read: questionably and crazy) beauty mistakes I’ve made along the way, I’m sure we can all learn something – mostly, don’t try this at home.

1. Unconventional Exfoliation

Although now a distant memory, chicken skin arms seemed to be a huge concern in my teen years, I would slather on body lotion and go to town with the St Ives apricot scrub (you all know the one). It wasn’t just my arms either, at one point my forehead seemed to be getting in on the pimply skin action and that just wouldn’t do.

One night, after a stroke of genius, I decided to take a glass nail file to my forehead and tackle the problem, quite literally head on. It went about as well as expected. I put in the work with that nail file, I sanded down my forehead like it was year 9 wood work and I’d just been let loose on a belt sander, your nail tech could never. Unfortunately for me, headbutting a brick wall would have been just as effective and would have created similar results. The next day, I looked like I’d hit the ground forehead first after taking a tumble over some handle bars. It was a LOOK. What about covering it up? Did I mention this was before the days of Dream Matte Mousse (the only foundation available to me as a youth)? Perhaps an ill-advised clip on fringe? Forget about it. I had to walk into school the next day and own my bad decision. A suggestion, if you find yourself considering reaching for the toolbox to smooth uneven skin tone? Try Glycolic Acid instead.

2. Cheap but not Cheerful

If you’ve never had to shave with a single use, orange Bic Razor, you haven’t lived. A lethal instrument, better used as a shiv than a tool for hair removal, but a rite of passage nonetheless. The time I’m referring to started out as tricky as ever, the usual nicks leaving drops of blood dripping down my shins but then, I got too cocky and it all went to pot. I slipped you see, my heel dropped off the side of the bath with some speed, just as I took a swipe at my ankle, and if my aim was to take off a chunk of my heel, well I succeeded admirably.

A normal person, may have dropped the fleshy razor and applied pressure to the wound; obviously, I jumped out of the shower, grabbed a towel & ran screaming down the stairs, waving the razor like a bloody, battle axe. My mother had very little sympathy for her soon to be legless child and joined me in screaming, not about the severed leg, about the blood stains ruining the carpet. It was all very dramatic. Worse, ineffective, because in all of the drama, I didn’t even finish shaving my leg. 0/10 would not recommend.

3. A dangerous foray into bikini waxing